Importance of humanity
by ikrationz
Summary: Set after season 4, here are Stefan's thoughts and feelings after Elena's choice and his torment of being locked up in a box and being drowned repeatedly.


**Title:** Time

**Disclaimer:**I don't own any of the characters, names, places, anything from The Vampire Diaries

**Author's Note:**Hey guys. I have just started fan fiction so if I make anything mistakes please let me know. This is going to be a one shot. It is going to be in Stefan's perspective. I hope you all enjoy it. :)

Stefan's point of view

I'm not mad, just disappointed. Walking along the footpath by myself and thinking about the past. The wrong choices I have made, the mistakes and the never ending demons forever haunting me. How could I have been so blind to think that I would finally get my happy ending? I finally stop and turn to see the beautiful gift that god has given to this earth. Nature. I continue walking down the hill and stop until I have finally reached my destiny. I sit down in the middle of nowhere and watch the waterfall. I choose to come here as it allows me to think and reminisce about my human life. The gentle brush of wind sweep against my face and the scent of flowers make me calm me as I think of her. How did I ever reach this point of my life like this? The feeling of unloved has changed me. Approximately 3 months ago I was trapped in a box at the bottom of the sea. I recalled as I sat in there waiting for my death to be repeated over and over again. I waited for someone to rescue me but no one did. Trapped, cold and lost there was finally a sense of hope and belonging. A man I didn't quite know who saved me. I remember as soon as I got out I was alone. Forever alone.

The craving to rip someone's heart out has always and will always be there at the back of my mind. To taste, touch even feel perhaps is always desirable. Just one snap and it will all go away. The pain, the ache will be gone. I can't allow myself to go back into ripper mode. I'm starving. But I know I need to calm down otherwise I will be completely out of control. It sounds so simple switching it off. But memories are too important. They represent the past, and are too precious. How could she do this to me? She chose him over me. I thought after what we have been through she would come back to me. Elena. My epic love. The one. Damon finally got his happy ending. He has been through so much pain because of my selfish reasons and I am happy that he is happy. After all I did put him through hell.

"Help me, please help?" A helpless voice from a young woman, in the far distance running towards me begging for help. But something stops me. The scent of human blood. The urge of eating and killing is tormenting me. I need it. I stand up and look around. Stefan stop I say to myself. I carry on walking but she comes closer and can feel her blood dripping from her leg. I can feel the hunger and my veins under my eyes pop out. I growl. I turn and once she sees the murderous look in my eyes she runs. I run fast and stop in front of her.

"Don't hurt me" she begs. I love the way humans beg. "Shush, I just need a drop, just a drop "I smirk. I grab her hair and gently sweep it against the other side. I reach down and aim for her neck and start drinking harshly. The screams leave me satisfied. I don't stop. I finish and drop her as I wipe the blood from my mouth. I look down at the lifeless body and just stop. Oh no what have I done. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I cradle her body and reach for her head on the ground and try to put of what is left of her. "Please, please". I cry. I realise it's too late and I will always be a monster. I pick up her body and attempt to bury the body. I run, as fast as I can and the memories of people haunting me. I can see my father and his body on the ground. I see Elena and Damon happy. It's all too much too take. I drop down to the ground and put my hands at the back of my head and scream. I feel better. I can't carry like this. I want to die.

I know I have to do it. I need to get rid of this pain. The sun starts to rise. I think of taking my ring off but I'm too much of a coward to do it. Although memories are too important I have to switch it off. I stand and try to reach back to mystic falls. I keep running through the woods and finally reach for my destination. I jump and peak through the window. I see him and her laughing and smiling in bed. I decide it is too much and realise I still want her.

"Turn it off" I hear. It's Klaus. I hear him behind me. "Turn it off Stefan, you will feel better". I jump down and walk towards him. "I can't". "Stefan, there is nothing here for you. Come with me to New Orleans and it will be like old times" he says. "Will it go away, the suffering?"I ask. "Of course it will, you don't need her or him just forget them". I have a sudden realisation that he is right. "I will" I say to him. I close my eyes and think of the happier times. I reach for the sad times too and stay in one position. I hear a click and realise its turning off. Goodbye my love as I think of Elena. Click.

"Stefan?" I open my eyes and there he is. "Why hello Klaus, What do you want?" "Come Stefan lets go. He reaches for my arm and I harshly let go startling him. "I have better things to do" and then I run. I hide behind the trees as I see the disappointment on his face. I laugh inside as I watch him go. Like I said I have better things to do. I walk back to the house and see her by herself and Damon is nowhere to be seen. Perfect. Driven by revenge I will make sure she suffers the worst way possible oh and Damon too. You can't forget him. The innocent face and status is no longer there. She is a whore. Sleeping with my brother, the day after I break up with her is quite frankly disgusting. I know I have wronged in the past but this is diabolical. Sired or not, it is not acceptable and what makes it worse is that she is staying in my house.

I break the window and jump inside. She turns and seems frightened. "Stefan, is that you?" She runs to me and tries to embrace but I push her away. I smirk and see Damon come inside. "What is going on?" he says. "You two had fun without me" I pout. "Stefan what's wrong? You seem different" Elena asks. "I'm back, did you two miss me"? The shock is still evident on their faces. Little do they realise what I have in store for them.

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